Life: Does form matter

Am sure the second post of mine will ensure or confirm to "googled" passer by's that am one another confused soul.

The incident I show here happened many years ago , I had shared it on my diary ( oh yes ihave one, but it isn't dear diary system, i write at gaps, sometimes the gap is days sometimes months, right now its almost a year).

I had visited my elder Sister for few days and returning to my home in Kozhikode (Calicut).Train was in the early morning around 5.20 or 5.40 . Often an auto is arranged the previous day so i can leave little late from home. On that day we couldn't get one, so i had started to walk to the station.
The station is just about 15 to 20 minutes walk . Ottapalam being an old town has narrow streets, this street I was about to enter had line of shops on either side. On the right side, a small drain was present which was covered by block of granites. The granites are just simple,uneven cut rocks.
As i entered the street, something made me smile instantly. I think it would make anyone smile, it was a small kitten,it was jumping across the boulders ,it was FULL OF LIFE. Early morning, it was full of energy and its body language was funny enough like a kid. And then and there it disappeared.. i just froze as I realised what had happened. I ran to the spot i saw the kitten , hoping its there atleast half way down amidst the gaps of those granites.
It wasn't there, i could hear the meek sound it made, i looked around , it was just me in the street.I was running late for the train.Boulders are too heavy for me to lift, a autorickshaw passed by as I was standing in front of a closed shop looking down at a drain with a mini flash light ( Cell phone)

I was 5mins away from station, there would be a Q for ticket, train usually is on other side of track... all thoughts running, I myself fakely assured that kitten will live this day holding on to some small recess in the drain structure.. I walked hurriedly towards the station, cursing the favourite form of God I trouble often.
3mins to the station I saw a cat, searching for something or some one..Its kitten ! i cursed again, i just looked at it and walked in reverse , She would go to few places sniffing and slowly walking calling out for her kitten.

I went home ,called up my Aunt who loves cats and dogs, asked if she could ring up the shop ( i had noted the name of the shop)to know in case some dead cat had turned up with awful smell. I kept saying myself the calling up etc., is just not to feel guilty.
oh ya i also tried another route to justify my abandoning the kitten. The morning i left sisters house I had killed one huge spider ( the moist humid Kerala weather really attracts weird sized spiders i guess), so i wondered I didn't think twice before I killed that insect and why am I getting all senti over a kitten. Is it because in that short span of time we met, with its energy, cuteness the kitten became more dearer !
I thought about few philosophies of religion i follow a.k.a every living , non living is same. form is different but the core of what makes each one is same. etc.
anyway by pondering over the "why the kittten not the spider " i passed over the guilt of abandoning the kitten.